Mission Accomplished! Sort of...

Mother Amma

At the end of the 30 days, I had given 427 mindful hugs.  That is 427 hugs that lasted 3 breaths each.  So, I didn't make it to 500 hugs, but I got pretty darn close!

At some point during my google research for the 500 Hugs blog, I came across The Hugging Saint.  Yep, there's a Hugging Saint.

Mother Amma has hugged over 30 million people around the world.  She gives 427 hugs before breakfast.  Ok, that may be an exaggeration, but she hugs a lot.

I couldn't believe that Mother Amma was going to be in Washington, DC only a few weeks after my 30-day Hugging Meditation had come to an end.  It seemed only right that I should go see her.  I had no idea how much of an impact this experience would have on my life.

I will not recount my entire experience here, but instead encourage you to make the trip to see Mother Amma at some point in your life.  What I will say about this whole experiment is that it definitely changed me.  It has made me more aware of my own suffering and that of others.  It has prompted me to explore the concept of compassion and look for ways to be more compassionate towards myself and others.  It has opened my eyes to the capacity for kindness in the world.  It has challenged me to open up more to others and to not be so guarded.

I am grateful for this experience.  I can't believe that I stuck with it.  I still don't consider myself a hugger, but when I do give hugs, people often comment on what a good hugger I am.  I just smile and say, "I've had a lot of practice."

Halfway There!

Day 19:  13 Mindful Hugs
Day 20:  9 Mindful Hugs

257 Hugs so far!  As Day 30 approaches, I'm beginning to think that I may not make it to 500 hugs.  I have found that mindful hugging, both physically and mentally, is exhausting.

Weekend Hug Update

Day 16:  21 Mindful Hugs

Day 17:  7 Mindful Hugs
Day 18:  4 Mindful Hugs

That is all for now.

Beware the Bear Hug

Day 15:  15 Mindful Hugs

Today someone told me that I give really good hugs.  This was somewhat surprising to me since I still don't consider myself much of a hugger.  I hadn't actually thought about the quality of my hugs other than applying the 3 breath principle.  I don't add the back pat, the side-to-side sway, the creepy back rub, or the unnecessary bear-hug squeeze.  I give regular hugs that happen to last a little longer.  By the way, it takes a long damn time to breathe three breaths.

My focus during the hugs has strictly been on the 3 breaths and noticing the physical sensations of relaxation (slowed heart rate, muscular relaxation) during each hug.  While focusing on the physical and mental aspects of hugging, I have completely been ignoring the emotional component of hugging.  Now I hear the voice of my meditation teacher saying, "Isn't that interesting?"

Some of the hug recipients have expressed an emotional response of feeling warm and fuzzy, but it has not been my experience.  This hugging meditation is again presenting me with another teachable moment.  For the second half of this experiment, I will continue focusing on the physical sensations and mental focus on the breath, and I will be open to noticing if any emotions begin to arise.

Hugs Are Better Than Shrugs

Day 14:  18 Mindful Hugs
Week 2 = 188 Mindful Hugs

I've made it through the second week for a total of 188 hugs in 14 days!  I actually can't believe that I've stuck with this for two weeks.  A lot of people have been asking me why I'm doing this, and I just shrug and say "why not?".  Here's what I've learned over the past 2 weeks of my Hugging Meditation Experiment:

• Most people really do want a hug.
• Hugs make people feel better, even if it's just a little better for just a little while.
• Children seem to hug each other naturally and often.
• If I hug someone in a busy public place, strangers in those places will likely ask me to hug them, too!
• More people are aware of my project and are eager to help me reach my goal of 500 hugs in 30 days.
• I notice that I am more present throughout my day when I take the time to be really present during each hug.
• I have been more productive and creative in my work.
• I have more energy throughout the day and I find that I don't need as much sleep.  I'm not sure if that's related to the hugging, but thought it might be worth mentioning.

I recently read an article about Teddy McHuggin, a man who broke the world record for giving the most hugs in 24 hours.  He gave 7,777 hugs in 1 day and gave over 700 hugs in the first hour.  Kudos to Mr. McHuggin.  I wonder if he was really present with each of the people he hugged.  And no, I do not intend on breaking his record.

Hugs, Not War

Day 13 : 14 Mindful Hugs

I will not play at tug o' war
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs....
~Shel Silverstein

Enough said.

Hug Someone Today

Day 12:  14 Mindful Hugs

As I near the half-way mark of this Hugging Meditation experiment, I am beginning to feel more compassion towards myself.  It makes it a little easier to be more open with other people.

Today's adventure led me to the Ligmincha Institute at Serenity Ridge.  My friends and I were invited to Serenity Ridge to tour the facilities and learn more about the Ligmincha Institute.

We stopped along the way at a country store.  While we were looking around a man came over to us and started up a conversation.  It turns out that he used to be incarcerated.  When he completed his sentence, he decided to make it his mission to bring happiness to other people.  Every day, he can be found in the middle of an intersection on the highway waving to people who drive by.  He has done this for decades.  I know because I remember seeing him on many occasions, even when I was a child.  He says that if he can make one person smile, he has done a good job.

I am starting to feel the same way about this Hugging Meditation experiment.  I began initiating hugs for my own benefit, but as I continue to think about the effect these hugs have on the recipients, I am coming to understand the domino effect.  And so it goes on.

Hugs Are Sweet

Day 11:  4 Mindful Hugs

I really didn't think I would give any hugs today.  Two hugs went to my partner of 15 years, and the other two to my furry felines.  Yes, I actually hug my cats.  And yes, I held them for 3 breaths.

I spent most of the day restoring order at home.  As I was cleaning out the kitchen cabinets, I came across a bag of Hershey's Hugs.  I laughed out loud at the absurd idea of having a whole bag full of hugs at my fingertips.  Since we don't really eat sugar much these days, I decided to give these hugs away.

I filled several snack-size bags with the hugs and set out on a walk around my neighborhood.  Whenever I passed a house with people out in the yard, I stopped and gave them a bag.  It was kind of fun to get out and meet some of my neighbors.  I've lived in this community for the past 4 years, yet only know the neighbors directly to either side of our house.

Today, I met some new people, gave out some sweet hugs, and enjoyed a nice walk on this beautiful day.  I would say that this Hugging Meditation experiment is working.

Natural Born Huggers

Day 10:  9 Mindful Hugs

Today I taught Nia at a birthday party for an 8 year old girl and 10 of her friends.  Typically, my target audience consists of women ages 18+.  While I have taught a few classes for children in the past, teaching children is not my favorite thing to do.  But when a friend calls and asks if you will do something, it's hard for me to say no, particularly if it is a good friend.  Thus I ended up at the party with a bunch of screaming kids running around.

Thankfully, my friend and the child's parents were there to help with the crowd control so that I could explain what we were about to do.  I planned 30 minutes of music and we danced.  I made it through the set, but it was very clear that I will not be agreeing to do this anytime soon (more like never again).

As the party progressed to gift time, I noticed that the children were going up to each other and hugging.  As they hugged, they verbally expressed their gratitude for one another.  This completely changed my perspective of the event.  The children morphed before my eyes from screaming demons to compassionate, loving creatures.

At the end of the party, as everyone was leaving, the children once again began to hug each other.  They also hugged the parents and thanked them for inviting them to the party.  What I didn't expect was for the children to hug me!  Several of the children hugged me and thanked me leading the dance class.

Thinking back to my childhood, I don't remember being so open with my affection toward my family, let alone my friends.  Perhaps that is why I find hugging so difficult in adulthood.  This experiment is teaching me so much about myself and others.  As the days progress, I am becoming less hesitant with hugging.  While it's still not my favorite thing to do, it's growing on me.    

Hugs in the Workplace

Day 9:  28 Mindful Hugs

The picture above is a great guide for acceptable office contact.  The Mindful Hug is a little different in that it takes more time, and there is more emphasis on REALLY being present with the other person.  I work with mostly women in my office.  While we're not always the most affectionate bunch, there are occasions when we hug.  Everyone at work knows about this project, so they are even more receptive when they see me coming for my daily hug.  One person even sought me out for a hug.

Most of my hugs today happened at work.  I helped produce an event where nearly 175 people attended.  I have worked with most of the attendees in the past, so it was nice to see so many familiar faces.  28 people were happy to receive a mindful hug from me.

I must admit that I am grateful to have had the opportunity to give so many hugs in one setting.  It takes the pressure off the approaching weekend, because I know that I will not see as many people.

I'm the Hugging Lady

Day 8:  19 Mindful Hugs

Eight days into this Hugging Meditation experiment and I have given 101 hugs!  When I began this journey I wasn't sure if I would make it to 500 hugs.  Now I'm starting to believe that I just might!  Only 399 to go in the next 22 days.  If I continue on my current streak of about 18 hugs a day, I will definitely make it to my goal.

I'm becoming more at ease with the process of giving mindful hugs.  I still have to prepare every morning upon waking to remind myself why I'm doing this.  I've begun adding heart opening poses to my morning yoga routine.  This has been an important practice for me to enter into the space of openness and compassion before I even leave the house.


I'm starting to be known around town for this little project.  I passed a woman on the street yesterday who shouted out "It's the Hugging Lady!"  My first reaction was to turn around and look for this hugging person.  Then I realized she was talking about me.  We exchanged smiles and hugs.

I Am NOT the Free Hugs Guy

Day 7:  17 Mindful Hugs
Week 1 = 82 Mindful Hugs

So, I've made it to the end of my first week.  I have given hugs at home, work, the gym, the coffee shop, on the street, and other random places.  I do NOT, however, give hugs in dark alleys or underpasses.  Definitely be skeptical of people hanging out there offering hugs, whether or not they say it is for research.  It's not for research.  


I also don't want to be confused with the Free Hugs movement.  I am not giving hugs to just anybody.  I get to choose who, when, and where.  It's my experiment, and those are my rules.  There have been a few hugs just a little on the creepy side, so I am erring on the side of caution, which I am considering to be a compassionate act towards myself.


What have I learned during this week of mindful hugging?

• I am more likely to give hugs between noon and 5pm.
• I am more likely to give hugs during the work week than on the weekend.
• It's best to ask people if they want a hug before hugging them.
• Men may not understand this project, but they sure don't mind being a part of it.
• While I still don't consider myself a hugger, I have come to appreciate the pause that is shared between two people during a mindful hug.
• When you enter into the present moment with another person, time slows down.  I have actually been more productive this week than I have been in a long time.  I have more energy and I am less irritable.  
• Even if I don't feel like hugging right now, do it anyway.

Hugging is an act that I never gave much thought before I began this project.  Now it seems to be at the forefront of my mind.  I wonder every morning how many hugs I'll give that day and who will be the recipients.  I wonder how many strange looks I will get when I explain this project to people.


I have been the most surprised by the fact that when I offer someone a hug, they are eager to receive one.  In a society where physical contact is nearly extinct thanks to Facebook, Google Chat, Skype, etc., I have found that people genuinely want to connect to another human. 


A hug is an effective way to send compassion to yourself and others.  You don't need any special skills or education.  You just need an open heart.  

A Cup Full of Hugs

Day 6:  21 Mindful Hugs

“We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” -Virginia Satir, Family Therapist

I began my workday at a local coffee shop and was delighted when the peppermint tea I ordered came in the Big Hug Mug.  How appropriate.  I gave 21 hugs today.  So far, that is my record for the most hugs in one day.

I must say that today was full of some really great hugs.  It seems that opportunities to hug people were everywhere.  Co-workers, friends, strangers.  The day started with a fantastic hug from a cute guy in the coffee shop, and later a hug from his adorable younger brother.  There was a hug from a new friend and one from an old friend.  Even a hug for my supervisor.

Later in the day, I ran into an acquaintance who was going through a tough time and really needed a hug.  I'm so grateful that I could give that to her when she needed it.  The best hug of the day was from a complete stranger near the end of the day.  Clearly this was a person who loves to give and get hugs.  If only I had her enthusiasm for hugs.

While I still don't consider myself much of a hugger, I am continuing to test my edge with this challenge.  I must admit that the hugging is starting to grow on me.

My Big Hug Mug runneth over.

Open Heart Hugs

Day 5:  5 Mindful Hugs

It's Memorial Day.  Several people I hugged today have served our country proudly.  I felt deep appreciation for them during our mindful hugs.

I attended a beautiful yoga class focusing on opening the heart.  I thought this was the perfect focus given the occasion.  The mind-body connection is so apparent when moving through poses that literally open the chest and lift the heart.  You can't help but feel more space to let in more compassion.

Today, I will attempt to soften around the edges.   

We Are All Connected

Day 4:  6 Mindful Hugs

Today I went on an adventure.  I drove 2.5 hours to attend a devotional service for Memorial Day.  I went by myself.  I drove down beautiful country roads and passed many historic battlefields.  As I stopped at a few historic sites, I thought about what it meant to really be grateful for all those who have served our country and given the ultimate sacrifice.  I spent much of the day in silence to honor those who have fallen and those who continue to serve and protect our freedoms.

I spent most of the morning driving, and I arrived just in time for the service to begin.  I was amazed that there were so many diverse backgrounds in attendance.  Today I prayed with people from Germany, Uruguay, Indonesia, the Philippines, Iran, and Guyana.  It was beautiful.  I hugged 6 people there.

On my long drive home, I thought about this Hugging Meditation project and how it fits in with everything else.  I believe that we are all of one race, the Human race.  We are all connected.  I believe that through this Hugging Meditation, I am honoring that connection.  I can't help but wonder if everyone gave a hug every day if there would be any conflict in the world.  

Four days into this experiment and I am already feeling happier.  I am more energetic and more productive.  I am honoring the space when I want to be alone and more introspective, and at the same time I am pushing myself to get out and be more interactive.  I believe that whether or not I make it to 500 hugs over these 30 days, I will be forever changed by this experience.

Watchooo Talkin' 'Bout, Willis?

Day 3:  13 Mindful Hugs

I didn't expect to give 13 hugs today.  I wasn't sure I'd even encounter 13 people on a Saturday, but it turns out, there were lots of opportunities to give (and receive) hugs.

Three hugs went to folks at my yoga class this morning and 1 hug at the gym later in the morning.  The remaining 9 hugs occurred this evening at the in-laws' for the annual Memorial Day gathering.

On the way to his family home, my partner of 15 years expressed his skepticism about my Hugging Meditation experiment.  He doesn't understand why I would want to do such a thing.  We had a lively exchange during which he fired off a series of questions that I regret I didn't write down at the time.  Here are a few from memory:

• Do you hug random strangers?
• What if the other person smells bad?
• What about germs?
• What if it's a homeless person?
• Do you have to hug different people every day or can you hug the same people over each day?
• Does it count if you hug a cat? Or a dog?

I don't have the answers to all of his questions, or many of my own questions, for that matter.  I think that is ultimately why I am even attempting this experiment.  I can tell you that the conversation we had on the way to his family home tonight had more depth than some of our recent interactions, so maybe that is part of the lesson I am hoping to learn from all this.

After 3 days of hugging, I have given a total of 33 hugs.  How many hugs have you given in the past 3 days?  How many will you give today?  How many will you give tomorrow?

I am choosing to push skepticism aside.  Hug on, my friends!

The Hesitant Hugger

Day 2:  9 Mindful Hugs

My second day into this experiment and I've given a total of 20 hugs.  That seems like a lot of hugging, especially for me.  I have a long way to go to get to 500 in 30 days.  According to mathematics, I need to give 16.6 hugs a day in order to reach my goal.  I guess I better step it up!

As the weekend approaches, I am a little worried that I may not even run into 16 people each day, let alone give everyone I meet a hug.  Oftentimes I prefer to be alone, particularly on the weekend.  This hugging meditation experiment is definitely a stretch for me.

I am a usually happy person and always delighted to engage with others, however that doesn't mean I want to embrace everyone in a 15-second hug.  For example, I ran into a woman this morning who I tolerate well enough, but I just wasn't feeling the urge to wrap my arms around her.  Mentally rejecting her in that moment put me in a strange mood for the rest of the morning.  The result of this dull mood was that I didn't feel very energetic or excited or vibrant all morning.  I didn't even try to hug anyone until almost noon.

"When we hug, our hearts connect and we know that we are not separate beings."--Thich Nhat Hanh

Today I will remember the words of Thich Nhat Hanh and allow the hugs to flow.  I realize that when I mentally reject the thought of hugging someone, I am withholding a gift that may be exactly what they need, or in fact I need, at that moment.

Why Hugs?

Day 1:  11 Mindful Hugs

I have officially begun my journey to explore happiness.  After coming to a crossroads, I have made it my mission to find out what it really means to be happy.  I have compiled my extensive list of books and articles on this subject and will be diving into many projects and activities over the next year.

The first book I picked up was Happiness:  Essential Mindfulness Practices by Thich Nhat Hanh.  I flipped open the book and landed on Hugging Meditation.  The practice seemed simple enough, so I decided to give it a try.

By lunchtime, I had given 7 mindful hugs.  The first to an acquaintance I have met only about 5 times.  The second and third to former co-workers I hadn't seen in years, but I just happened to run into them on the street.  The fourth to a former co-worker with whom I had previously been angry.  (Perhaps the Universe put him in my path on purpose...well, of course that is what happened!)  The sixth hug went to a young intern.  The seventh to the cute guy in the coffee shop who happens to be a very good hugger, thankyouverymuch.  Hugs 8 and 9 went to strangers in the coffee shop.  Number 10 to my dear friend who I just don't get to see often enough.  The final hug of the day went to my long-lost childhood friend with whom I have only recently been reunited.

In his book Happiness, Thich Nhat Hanh writes that hugging with mindfulness can bring reconciliation, healing, understanding, and much happiness (p. 82).  Being fully present during each of the hugs today brought me a profound sense of connection to others.  I could feel the people receiving the hugs relax with each exhale.  I began to realize what a gift I was giving them, and in turn giving to myself.  How wonderful it was to connect with some of my dearest friends in such a warm and comforting way!  I noticed that I actually felt more energetic and happier throughout the day.  Maybe there is more to this than I first thought.

I quickly realized that this is the beginning of a very interesting experiment.  What if I aimed to give 500 hugs over the next 30 days?  Looking back over the years, I don't think I have given 500 hugs in my entire life.  I haven't been the most affectionate person, but maybe I could be.  Thus, 500 Hugs was born.

I will be tracking how many mindful hugs I give each day.  I will also note whether the hugs are with friends, family, acquaintances, or strangers.

Thanks for coming along with me on this journey.  If you run into me over the next 30 days, don't let me get away without giving you a hug!